Does the Bible clearly teach monogamy?
by Dr Jonathan Sarfati
Question
‘[Your literature] often says that Genesis shows that “God intended
one man for one woman.” While I agree with monogamy, the Bible has many examples
of men with more than one wife, and appears not to condemn this. Could you please
explain how Genesis clearly teaches monogamy … ’
Answer
The clearest evidence that monogamy is God’s ideal is from Christ’s
teaching on marriage in
Matt. 19:3–6. In this passage, He cited the Genesis creation account,
in particular
Gen. 1:27 and
2:24, saying ‘the two will become
one flesh’, not more than two.
Another important biblical teaching is the parallel of husband and wife with Christ
and the Church in
Eph. 5:22–33, which makes sense only with monogamy—Jesus will
not have multiple brides.
The 10th Commandment ‘… You shall not
covet your neighbor’s wife [singular] …’ (Exodus
20:17) also presupposes the ideal that there is only one wife. Polygamy
is expressly forbidden for church elders (1
Tim. 3:2). And this is not just for elders, because Paul also wrote:
‘each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.’
Paul goes on to explain marital duties in terms that make sense only with one husband
to one wife.
The example of godly people is also important. Isaac and Rebekah were monogamous—they
are often used as a model in Jewish weddings today. Other examples were Joseph and
Asenath, and Moses and Zipporah. And the only survivors of the Flood were four monogamous
couples.
Polygamy’s origins and consequences
A very important point to remember is that not everything recorded in the
Bible is approved in the Bible. Consider where polygamy originated—first
in the line of the murderer Cain, not the line of Seth. The first recorded polygamist
was the murderer Lamech (Gen.
4:23–24). Then Esau, who despised his birthright, also caused much
grief to his parents by marrying two pagan wives (Gen.
26:34).
God also forbade the kings of Israel to be polygamous (Deut.
17:17). Look at the trouble when they disobeyed, including deadly sibling
rivalry between David’s sons from his different wives (2
Samuel 13,
1 Kings 2); and Solomon’s hundreds of wives helped lead Solomon
to idolatry (1
Kings 11:1–3). Also, Hannah, Samuel’s mother, was humiliated
by her husband Elkanah’s other wife Peninnah (1
Sam. 1:1–7).
What about godly men who were polygamous?
Abraham and Sarah would have been monogamous apart from a low point in their faith
when Hagar became a second wife—note how much strife this caused later. Jacob
only wanted Rachel, but was tricked into marrying her older sister Leah, and later
he took their slave girls at the sisters’ urging, due to the rivalry between
the sisters. Jacob was hardly at a spiritual high point at those times, and neither
was David when he added Abigail and Ahinoam (1
Sam. 25:42–43).
Why did God seem to allow it, then?
It is more like the case of divorce, which God tolerated for a while under certain
conditions because of the hardness of their hearts, but was not the way it was intended
from the beginning (Matt.
19:8). But whenever the Mosaic law had provisions for polygamy, it was always
the conditional: ‘If he takes another
wife to himself …’ (Ex.21:10),
never an encouragement. God put a number of obligations of the husband towards the
additional wives which would discourage polygamy. In view of the problems it causes,
it is no wonder that polygamy was unknown among the Jews after the Babylonian exile,
and monogamy was the rule even among the Greeks and Romans by New Testament times.
Related article
Sources
- Geisler, Norman L., Christian Ethics: Options and Issues, Baker Book House,
Grand Rapids, MI, pp. 280–281, 1989.
- Archer, Gleason L., Jr., Encyclopedia of Bible Difficulties, Zondervan,
Grand Rapids, MI, pp. 121–124, 1982.
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