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Reader claims Jesus approves of his same-sex marriage

But are feelings and experiences the best way to determine Jesus’ view?

Kari T. from Canada wrote:

Hi there,I just noticed your article “How gay marriage harms people”. I am married to another man and I know from my experience that your statement is totally wrong. Every day I thank God for my husband and his love towards me. Let me tell what happened on our wedding day 2.5 years ago (we have known each other for almost 12 years).


I woke up during the night before our wedding day and felt Jesus’ presence in a special way. I did not feel at all that he had come to judge me. Rather, I felt he smiled and then I fell asleep again. In the morning, the words of the song, “This is the day that the Lord had made,” came into my mind. I text messaged them to my present husband. After a while, he responded that after he had woken up and before he had read my message, the same song was in his mind.

When I went to church, I told this to Rachel, a heterosexual friend of us whom w had asked to speak at our wedding. She told me that she refers to the same song in her written speech.

 of CMI–US replies:

Hi Kari,

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to respond.

Respectfully, though, do you realize that you didn’t really address any of the points in my article about how same-sex marriage is harmful to society? You say that my “statement is totally wrong” but, notice, I did not say that two men in a same sex ‘marriage’ cannot have happy experiences or subjectively feel like they have God’s approval.

Rather, I argued that the logic of same-sex marriage undermines the norms of marriage like monogamy, permanence, and exclusivity. What principled objections can you make against polygamy or open marriages once you have adopted same-sex marriage?

If children are a part of the picture, same-sex marriage would also give them additional difficulties to overcome. Have you considered that if you adopt children or bring them into the world through a surrogate, you will be depriving them of being raised by a mother? Is this really ‘just as ideal’ as being raised by their biological mom, all other things being equal?

And what about the ways that free speech and freedom of religion are under severe attack where same-sex marriage has been declared legal? In the US, we are awaiting the outcome of Supreme Court case, Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission, where there is a serious possibility the court will decide that Christian business owners should be forced to participate in speech they disagree with. And there are many similar cases working their way through the system. Another bakery, run by Aaron and Melissa Klein, was forced to pay a $135,000 fine which put them out of business, and they recently lost on appeal. There are similar challenges in Canada. Do you support such coercive attacks on our freedoms by the government? Because, sadly, that is where the logic of same-sex marriage naturally leads.

Instead of offering a rebuttal to any of my arguments, though, you’ve only talked about your feelings and experiences. But feelings and experiences are not the best way to determine the truth about same-sex marriage, especially when it comes to what Jesus thinks on the subject. Better to read His actual words in the Bible, which Jesus said “is truth” (John 17:17) and “cannot be broken” (John 10:35). And, as my article discusses, Jesus affirmed the marital norms implicit in Genesis—it is to be an exclusive union of one man and one woman for a lifetime, because that is consistent with the way God designed us as human beings.

If you profess to be a Christian, I sincerely hope that you will reconsider your views, because they do not fit with what the Bible actually teaches. And, this is a serious thing, because the Bible says that if we are practicing what God says is evil, then we do not know Him (1 John 1:6), and will one day face His righteous judgment without Jesus to intercede for us. My desire is that this would not happen to you, but that you would turn to Christ, repent of your sins, and be cleansed by his blood. He died so that we might be reconciled to God. I hope that you will accept His offer of grace and acknowledge Him as Lord of your life.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Best wishes,
Keaton Halley

Published: 17 February 2018

Helpful Resources

Gay Marriage: right or wrong?
by Gary Bates, Lita Cosner
US $4.00
From Creation to Salvation
by Lita Cosner Sanders
US $14.00
Soft cover